{Post 19}

"For Sale: Baby Shoes. Never Worn."

          It was a misty monday morning here in Australia. We hoped in the car to head to a doctors appointment. It was me and my beautiful, loving husband. On our way to the appointment we discussed our lives and the three wonderful children we had here in Earth still, and the one daughter who had left our side three years ago at the wee age of three. ver since our loving daughter went to heaven we wanted to have another baby. I have put myself through torture to create another little life to join our family's journey. For some unexplainable reason getting pregnant the first four times wasn't hard at all. Everything went as planned, but that was back in a normal life with a normal family. Back in the days when all four of my children were alive. It has been many years now since my beautiful mini-me died, but it doesn't seem to get all that much easier. It's a new reality in my new not normal life. Anyways back to the baby talk. I have gone through five failed IVF treatments, and I promised try number six would be my last. If it doesn't happen this time I will have to accept that it was the way it was meant to be. The eggs have been planted and now we must see if they have attached or not.
            As we approach the doctors office my mind goes to all the worst possibilities. I know that it shouldn't operate this way, but it does. My mind races and I open the doctors office door to be greeted right away, and taken back for my appointment. The doctor takes a look at the ultrasound and smiles as if it is good news. I am here to announce that yes I am indeed pregnant with baby number five. We have been looking around at shoes and little outfits for the baby. We have to stick with the neutral theme because we have no idea if our tiny human will be a boy or a girl, but as soon as we find out there will be no more yellow clothing purchased. Right now we are praying for a healthy little one with gender put aside. We are elated and can't wait to find out.
             As much excitement and pure joy that came with the story above, I am here today with a heavy heart. My heart aches for the little baby that didn't make it past week 13. It happened baby number 5 ended in a miscarriage. With all the joy, nervousness, and excitement we felt after the appointment we lost our baby. We had even bought a few pairs of little baby shoes and blankets for our precious addition that never quite made it to our world. Follow this link to check out some of the lovely items we had purchased, but no longer need: For Sale: Baby Shoes. Never Worn. I have given up on my journey for another baby. I just can't afford more treatment and the torture that it puts my body through is too much to bare. I might have to take down one for sale item to keep as a keepsake of this precious baby who never got to meet the family. I will keep one pair of shoes, but the rest will be sold to loving families who need tiny human shoes for their little bundles of joy.
              Thank You all for the prayers and thoughts throughout this journey. We have not given up our faith and will continue to raise our three loving children who are still on Earth and keep the spirit of our beautiful angel baby in heaven alive. Thanks for everything!